15 Comments

This is so accurate and on point. I also thought it was strange that there was that end of episode bit of Bela sleeping with that comedian. I don’t feel it was ever addressed outside of how it impacted Bela and Eric, despite it being this big cliffhanger and all the implications of this very imbalanced hookup. There have been a few inappropriate and strange relationships in this show and I don’t feel that they ever fully explore the emotional impact these might have on literal eighteen year olds.

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I completely agree! Bela and the comedian hooking up was really inappropriate, and the fact that he told enough people about it that the news made its way back to Eric was so gross. The pacing of this show is so wild that none of these girls have processed anything from season one, let alone the 10000 things that happened in season two.

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That choice of Bela's almost made me stop watching it - and maybe it wasn't out of character, (per se,) but it also sort of felt like a forced extreme of her character. And yes, I also thought it would be addressed/unpacked at the VERY LEAST. Ad then it simply... was not? So baffling and unsettling. I agree, that the emotional impact was just nonexistent. It literally is so bizarre to step back and try to puzzle that out - and yes, beyond inappropriate/super gross.

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And I feel like that goes all the way back to the beginning with this show. In the first few episodes, both Kimberly and Bela lose their virginities and I think I expected it would be more like Never Have I Ever in that there’s *some* acknowledgment of how that is a vulnerable thing. It felt obligatory--like, oh it wouldn’t make sense for all four of them to be sexually active, so we can establish two as virgins and then get their first times out of the way. For a show that’s supposed to be about sex lives, they aren’t actually that interested in sex as much more than a joke or a way to be sort of edgy--or in the case of Bela and the comedian, a flippant plot point. Like there’s no emotion, no consideration of the role it plays in young women and how their different experiences and intersections impact their relationships and attitudes towards sex.

Also I totally agree with the almost made you stop watching thing! It wasn’t so much the end of that episode where she kisses him, but rather the next episode as it became obvious that they weren’t going to acknowledge it at all. Choices were made.

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ooooh 100000% this. Choices were made indeed.

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the whitney bio boy storyline made me especially mad because that man was incredibly misogynistic and/or racist and yet he was somehow a viable love interest!!

Eric at least had a slightly more realistic redemption arc and it felt realistic that he would have needed a second before turning on his friend.

bella constantly hooking up w comedy men in power to get jobs is a SUPER weird dynamic that is worryingly not addressed at all and continues to work out for her which i HATE

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yeah, I wish Eric and Bela remained friends at best after he stood up for her. and yuuup, the comedian storyline from season 2 was disappointing. could write a whole other piece about Bela's character alone!

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Such an amazing piece! I completely agree with your summary of why the love interests seem so hollow and one dimensional for Bela / Whitney v Leighton & Kimberly. It’s very unfair. Also, unless it’s 10 things I hate about enemies to lovers, I don’t want it.

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I think I also have a problem with how she consistently portrays her lead Indian female characters as overly superficial, selfish and obnoxious. Bela in Sex Lives is just plain unlikeable at this point and it's hard to empathize with her as a character. Devi in Never Have I Ever was also pretty awful at times and did some really hurtful things that were just written off because we were supposed to feel sorry for her. I know her tv shows are just fiction, but there is already a harmful stereotype of Indian women being overly dramatic, overly emotional, and her characters just play into it.

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I don't think the Indian characters have to be likeable to be compelling. Devi's character is 15-16 years old and grieving, so I think her mistakes are very understandable. I definitely agree that Bela's characterization has felt unnecessarily superficial (Whitney's, too), especially when Leighton and Kimberly are getting emotional personal stories about sexuality and class.

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Really insightful and a delight to read! Love this analysis and I hope our woc can get some decent love interests next season 🤞🏿

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Great point about Whitney. The enemies to lovers is appealing because men so rarely see women as their equals, and making someone your nemesis is an acknowledgement that they are worthy, challenging opposite. Andrew's dismissal of Whitney does not fit that bill.

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It is also about the erasure of men of color in Hollywood. They were barely present in the show, even though it had a bunch of WoC.

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I totally agree! I also find that she sometimes codes white male love interests as Jewish (Ben in the Mindy project and also Ben in Never Have I Ever) and utilizes harmful and borderline antisemitic plot lines and stereotypes. For example, in NHIE Ben’s last name is Gross, he’s pretty repeatedly framed as backstabbingly ambitious, not attractive, and physically off putting, and his parents are ultra wealthy and successful in the entertainment industry. I feel like Mindy thinks she gets a pass for this because BJ is Jewish but it really just makes it worse.

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did you know the "B" in "BJ Novak" stands for Benjamin? Like COME ON Mindy

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